Pick No. 17: Team Giannis Takes Jayson Tatum
Look, I'm not going to say I take some sort of perverse pleasure in hoarding wings so you're left with only LeBron James, Brandon Ingram and the argument that Pascal Siakam has always, in fact, wanted to spend time at shooting guard.
I'm not not going to say it, either.
Taking Jayson Tatum is a little bit of a risk. Just as new All-Stars seem inclined to play harder, they can also fade into the enormity of talent around them. And while the mid-range-ification of his game is overstated, he's good for a few junky, ill-advised long twos per game.
This is me, not caring.
Not unlike Khris Middleton, his stardom can be applied and translated to almost any situation. More than half his buckets still come off assists, and he pairs his plug-and-playness with a budding pull-up jumper. His iffy finishing around the rim won't be as much of an issue when he's feasting on wide-open lanes in the half court and on transition dunks.
Less pertinent to the All-Star Game itself but equally important: Tatum is defending well enough to make an All-Defensive team this year. He will get reps against Pascal Siakam and Anthony Davis and, hell, probably even Nikola Jokic. We're cool with it.
Pick No. 18: Team LeBron Takes Kyle Lowry
You're really just going to leave Simmons there dangling for another round? Whatever. I'm not taking the bait.
In fact, I feel good enough about my wings—if you squint, LeBron, Luka, Siakam, Ingram and Mitchell all count—to add my second fire-hydrant point guard. Kyle Lowry, come aboard!
Lowry just does all the little things that produce wins, and if this new quarter-by-quarter setup has the intended effect of ratcheting up the competitiveness of the entire All-Star Game, I think his value spikes. He'll get up underneath opposing wings, push the rock in transition, find gaps to exploit on or off the ball and—bold prediction time—take a charge!
That's right. You're going to see willful self-sacrifice in an exhibition game because that's the kind of commitment we demand on Team LeBron. Also, I now have two reigning NBA champions to your one, which, by my rough calculations, means I'm twice as likely to win. Don't dispute the math. It's rock-solid.
Pick No. 19: Team Giannis Takes Ben Simmons
I'm doing this for you. And for me. Really, I'm doing it for everyone.
Simmons' scoring isn't cut from the most watchable All-Star mold. His passing is times forever. We could wax poetic about his defensive portability, but going into those weeds rings hollow in this discourse. Though to be fair, looking at our roster, Simmons is going to play some center and get plenty of opportunities to operate as a screener and roller.
Mostly, we need to make sure he and Joel Embiid are on different teams. For all of us. Maybe they end up trading impassioned barbs. Maybe Simmons summons the courage to jack a three, only to have Embiid swat it into the stands. Maybe Simmons yams on Embiid in transition and stares him down, pounding his chest while screaming "Trade this MFer to Boston!"
Too much nonessential drama is bad. This doesn't cross the line. Awkwardness that spills over past the All-Star Game can be entertaining. Separating Embiid and Simmons, as so many outside Philadelphia have fantasized about, is a vote for fun. It is a move for the people.
Pick No. 20: Team LeBron Takes Russell Westbrook
The word "hero" gets thrown around a lot these days, and, I mean, you're definitely not a hero. So I'm not sure why I started this section that way. But good job, and thank you for officially separating Simmons and Embiid.
I've got enough bigs, so I'll let you decide which of the two remaining frontcourt options to take and instead snag a dude who has two All-Star MVPs to his name. This particular fellow, who averaged a triple-double three years in a row, knows how to put up numbers and, just as importantly, does not know how to take his foot off the gas. That'll serve him and Team LeBron well in a game that tends to turn into a track meet.
Though he's athletically diminished by time and stylistically antithetical to the collective spirit of this savvy, pass-happy team, I'm going with Russell Westbrook.
Why not, right?
Pick No. 21: Team Giannis Takes Bam Adebayo
Once again, I find myself proud of you, this time more than the last.
Knowing the Slack-room rage monster you turned into when Russ made the All-Star reserve pool over Devin Booker, I am genuinely surprised you ended up taking the former rather than letting him ride until the last pick in protest.
Part of this is definitely because I so badly wanted Bam Adebayo. His passing...my god, his passing. But also, his defensive footwork. He moves like he has jet packs attached to his feet. We look forward to seeing him switched onto Westbrook and winning the head-to-head battle.
Team Giannis will empower Adebayo to shoot threes. He has some range, and the All-Star Game is the perfect nobody-cares setting to let him fire away.
Pick No. 22: Team LeBron James Takes Domantas Sabonis
Listen, if I could take Devin Booker over any of my last half-dozen picks, I would. But part of team-building is making every person involved in the enterprise feel valued. So let's spin this thing the right way.
Domantas Sabonis isn't the last guy I wanted on my team. He's the first lefty. Further, I'm a fan of how he's the clear fulcrum of Indy's offense.
There aren't many bigs who can run a handoff game like he can, and when Sabonis gets the ball on a roll into the lane, somebody is getting shoulder-checked into the stanchion—unless he spots a shooter. He'll find the right guy every time, as his 4.6 assists per game attest.
You also can't rule out the possibility of a board-hoarder like Sabonis excitedly overhustling in his first All-Star trip. He might collect every miss en route to a 20-point, 20-rebound night. He also might play two minutes and not touch the ball. We'll feel it out.
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